Two dim-witted former high school buddys and Neil Diamond fanactics, Wayne and J.D., plot to keep their friend Darren from marrying the wrong woman, a domineering and spiteful psychologist named Judith by kidnapping her and trying to set Darren up with his old high school girlfriend Sandy who plans to become a nun.

In the Bronx, Joe, an Irish good guy, gets bad news twice the same day: he has a brain tumor and his wife wants a divorce, saying he's dull and lacks adventure. With her father's blessing, Joe takes off for adventures in the weeks before risky surgery. In Louisville, he's latched onto by Hush, a talkative belle with two kids, big debts to a nasty bookie, and few prospects. Even after she steals his wallet, Joe offers temporary help, bonds with her kids, and faces down the bookie. Soon Hush, Joe, and the kids are on the run toward Vegas. The bookie's on their tail, so are some Bronx bad guys, cancer lurks, Hush has her gambling jones, and the kids want stability. Can this work out?